After I was diagnosed with B.P. and realized that I would have no relief in the immediate future, I was absolutely devastated. What a blow to my self-image! As a 29-year-old first time mom, I frankly felt cheated. I had been waiting for these precious days my entire life, and now I felt too embarrassed to enjoy sharing them with anyone. I felt sorry for myself because the pain in my facial muscles kept me from lying on my right side. I worried that my son wouldn't understand my slurred words, that he would reject me, that my husband would be ashamed of me.
Looking back (226 days later!), how foolish my thoughts seem! But my feelings were still real then, no matter how irrational they appear now. As an exhausted new mother in her post-partum "bliss," my feelings were intensified even more.
Did you know that Bell's Palsy is 3 times more likely to strike pregnant women than non-pregnant women? People who have "diabetes, influenza, a cold, or some other upper respiratory ailment [also] seem to be at increased risk."
Do you have B.P. and fall into one of these categories?
How did you feel when you realized you had B.P.? Please leave comments below, and please be transparent in an effort to help others who are learning to deal with their illness.
As a Christian, I personally believe that the Bible is God's Word and that what it says is true. Psalm 56:3 says, "When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You." This was the first truth that I clung to when I was overwhelmed with negative feelings at the beginning of my B.P. It was a truth that I had known about since I was a child, but one I had not truly applied to my own life in many years. I am so thankful for this verse!
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5 comments:
Hi there, just wanted to say you're more than welcome to link to my Bell's Palsy post (found here.
Take care, good blog! :)
Evan
Thank you, Evan! How are you doing these days?
I had Bells Palsy too. I had my first, and only child when I was 27 and in my last trimester I got Bells Palsy.. it was horrible. I still have residual twitching and my neck cramps every once in a while.. and I have anxiety thinking about it.. but yes..
I am 30 now, but I went through the same thing when I was 27 with my daughter. She is my first child, and in my last trimester I got Bells. It was horrible, I was scared, I still have residual twitching and my neck cramps up every once in a while. It's such a blessing to find someone who can relate.
Thank you for writing and sharing, smeech. If you ever want to, feel free to PM me. Best wishes!
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